maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
