didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
