You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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