everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
