how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
