I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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