Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
