Screwed.edu
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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