she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
