Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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