Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
