Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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