i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize