Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
