My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
