So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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