The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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