No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
