I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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