hell yes lets make some ravioli
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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