My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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