he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We are two peas in an std pod
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
