My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
