we should wear snuggies to the strip club
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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