I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
