Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
