So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
