you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
