she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
