Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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