So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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