For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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