oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
