So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
