You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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