you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize