I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need water and some morals
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
