worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize