Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
