it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize