What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
