I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
