I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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