sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize