it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
