Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
