A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
