508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
as a side note pls kill me
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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