Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize