we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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