my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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