Will you blow on my dice?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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