i don't like sucking hair
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
