Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
