May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
