I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
