i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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