she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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