How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
