What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Bring me that man meat
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
