I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
