pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize