You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
