Don't you send me to vm
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
