He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
