I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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