I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
