Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
