About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
